Wednesday, June 9, 2010

2010 World Cup Preview: Group H

As we continue the World Cup Preview circuit we bring you to group H. Here is the same standard intro. Blah.

Sitting here and trying to tell all of you that we have any idea about what is really going to go on in the World Cup would be a total and utter lie. I might watch soccer a few times a year but I really do try and get into the World Cup, because I love my country. This year we are working with Ian from The Steelers N'at to get a preview together. Between tonight and Thursday we will preview two groups a day and hopefully give you some incite. We teamed up for the Olympics and it was a good experience and I learned a lot about it so Ian and I decided to do this again. Like the previews for the Olympics we will make some predictions at the end which will most likely go terribly, terribly wrong.

My preview is going to continue with Group H.

Group H

Chile
Honduras
Spain
Switzerland

This seems to be a pretty wide open field that could go in a number of different ways, but expect Spain to take it home. The odds are in the Spanish favor with an 86% chance of moving on to the round of 16 and a 60% chance of bringing home the group title. Chile is probably the second best team in this group with Honduras and Switzerland rounding it out. Now you might think that Chile has the edge on getting the second spot, and you are probably right but Honduras and Switzerland could make life tough for the two favorites and could sneak in.



Chile

Chile comes in with the youngest average age of any team in the World Cup. They are kind of that flash and dash team. I guess when I think flash I think of the Washington Capitals so they might win a game then choke. wooooooooooo. How is woooooooo not in my spell check?

Chile is an up tempo try and run and gun with you as much as possible. They will never be out of a game because in an instant they can turn on the jets and score a few goals.

1962 is the only time the Chileans finished in the top four when they took a third place finish. Like I said this is a very offensive team and it starts with their head coach, Marcelo Bielsa. This is a young team and Bielsa is the reason they are that way putting some of their players on the “fast track” to the team. With his style he usually implements six players to scoring goals while keeping only four players on the field that are primarily defensive.

Humberto Suazo is the main man for the Chile offense. He is going to be a big part of them moving on because if they score a goal it will most likely directly be from him. Doing this as a Pittsburgh fan you can’t feel good about this kid. The last Humberto we know of was Pirates catcher back from 2001-2007.



In his Pirates career he hit .233 and was terrible. Don’t expect much from Suazo.

Chile kinda reminds me of the Red Hot Chile Peppers. Take with that as you must.

Well if you are in Chile you don’t have to go to any porn to find some big “dogs”






Honduras

Honduras joins the party for the second time (I am not sure 110 degree temps in Africa would technically be called a party, not sure) and the first since 1982. In a preview I was looking at it stated “Honduras can dream of advancing from Group H only if it can do everything perfectly against Spain, Chile and Switzerland. A more realistic goal would be a first victory in World Cup play, after two ties in the 1982 campaign.” I am no rocket scientist but I don’t think that bolds well for me picking them to move on. Then again me picking them not to move on means that they will probably move on.

Wilson Palacios is far and away the best player for Honduras. He is their only “world-class” player and he plays in the midfield. Now, if Honduras was cloned six more times and put all over the field they would have a chance. Maybe.

Maynor Figuero is the best of the back end for the Honduras team. He plays in some pretty big time leagues, which will benefit him playing on this handicapped team that he is on for Honduras.

There really isn’t any more to say. This is a bad team. Detroit Lions 0-16 bad.

If you want to play with some animals go to Honduras.



I wasn’t kidding.




Spain

Spain is pretty legit. They usually have a pretty good team and always have a chance to win it all. Typically they have highly talented teams that kinda come up short. I can refer to them as the San Jose Sharks of the soccer world, but maybe not that bad as choke jobs go.

You wanna know how legit this team may or may not be? They have only lost once in their past 47 games. Do you know who that one loss was to? That’s right, the United States, bitches. That game was in the Confederations Cup last year. The Spanyards went 10-0 in the qualifying round for the World Cup.

Spain’s main man Xavi is having some injury issues with a torn calf muscle and Cesc Fabregas has a fractured shin and is trying to get back in time. I mean just think about those two injuries. A broken shin and a torn calf. Do know know when you get up in the morning and bang the shit out of your shin on the table because it is so dark and you act like this:



You sit on your bed and you feel like you can never walk again. This dude is going to play soccer with it broke. Ballsy.

The Best of Spain:



Obviously you only try to ride livestock in Spain. Interesting.




Switzerland

Switzerland hasn’t been very good in the World Cup. In 2006 Switzerland made it into the round of 16, but it is going to be pretty hard for them to do that this year. They are one of the youngest teams in the field and that really doesn’t bode well for them.

The Switz (that is what I am calling them, deal with it) are a razz and dazzle type of team, but they are going to need team efforts in order to win. Switzerland was the first team in World Cup history to be eliminated without conceding a single goal at the 2006 World Cup (losing on penalties to Ukraine in the second round)

Switz is led by Alexander Frei is undoubtedly their best player and he is the countries all time leading scorer with 40 goals in only 73 games. He is pretty good with the ball on his foot. Blaise Nkufo is Frei’s scoring partner, but is 35 years old. Sucks.

Switz are pretty straight forward with their play. They like to strike big, but like I said before they need to learn and learn fast. They are young, with a couple of players under 20 years old, if they even want to have a chance of moving on.



I have no idea what the hell is going on here but isn’t it great when they say “Where men spend less time on football, and more time on you” as dude is milking a cow. Isn’t that kinda saying “we suck at soccer”?


Cory’s Prediction – Spain and Chile. If it were a cow milking contest I would go with The Switz to win it all, no doubt.

Ian's Prediction - Spain and Chile

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